Midlife Dating Podcast

EP 26 - Holiday Movie Picks for Single Gen X and Baby Boomers Part 1 of 2

• Paul Nelson • Episode 26

Share episode

Highlights for this episode:

Paul reviews holiday dating-themed movies for those Gen X and Baby Boomers who are solo this holiday season. There are a total of four picks. Two picks in this Part 1 Episode and two more in Part 2. Paul points out the common theme in these movies that is missing in online dating and why we should apply them all year.

The Holidate – 

  • After Christmas, a pair of frustrated singles cross paths in the gift return line and agree to be each other’s platonic plus one on holidays throughout the year to relieve the pressure from being single from friends and family.
  • Netflix 2020 
  • Official Trailer: https://youtu.be/hxaaAoI57fk?si=sMuo_3b89ogeDJFY
  • Important Note: This is not a family-friendly movie. It is best not to have children around when you watch this one or be prepared to explain some awkward situations. 

The 12 Dates of Christmas –

 

Episode Links:

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: questions@50datesat50.com

50 Dates at 50 Website: https://50datesat50.com/

Episode 26 Holiday Movies for Single Gen X and Baby Boomers Part 1 of 2

The transcription below is provided for your convenience. Please excuse any mistakes that the automated service made in translation.

Intro

Paul Nelson: If you're a baby boomer or Gen Xer who is single over this Holiday season, I've got some movie recommendations for you. Three have a common dating message, and one is just great pure comic relief that will get your mind off dating during the holidays for a while. In this episode, part one, we'll take a look at the "Holidate" from Netflix and "The 12 Dates of Christmas" from ABC Family.

As I outline these movies, I'll review the common message each movie shares about one of the biggest frustrations many of us have when it comes to online dating and the awareness both movies can provide on this. Links to the official trailers for both these movies will be in the show notes. 

The Holidate

Paul Nelson: Now, our first movie is "The Holidate," and this came out in 2020 and is a Netflix production, which is obviously available on Netflix.

Sloane, played by Emma Roberts, and Jackson, played by Luke Bracey, are both fed up with the pressures of being single from family and friends on the Holidays. During a chance meeting while returning Holiday gifts, they agree to meet on upcoming Holidays as plus one friends in an effort to stave off peer and family pressure during these gatherings.

Their pact starts at New Year's Eve and cycles through the entire year. Through Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Cinco de Mayo, Mother's Day, Fourth of July, they get through a wedding, Halloween, Thanksgiving, leading back to Christmas again over one year. As Sloane and Jackson meet for each Holiday date, they slowly begin to grow on each other.

The movie will have you both laughing and crying. Keep in mind now that this is not a family-friendly movie. If you dare to watch this with kids around, you're going to have some explaining to do. Back to the movie here. Now, both Sloan and Jackson did not develop initial chemistry or infatuation, and this is a common theme in many online, and this is a common theme for many of us in online dating known as the one-and-done date.

The Message The Holidate Sends

Paul Nelson: The parallel here is that many of us have experienced what can seem like countless one-and-done dates, frustrated that we don't get a chance to demonstrate our admirable qualities. As Sloan and Jackson spent more time together, they got to see those qualities, and they slowly grew on each other. As a side note, while this podcast does not advocate office romances, men and women who are Men and women who are not initially attracted to each other often grow on each other as they spend time working together at the office.

This is where they get to see, this is where they get a chance, this is where they have the time to demonstrate those great qualities that they have. In the online dating world, it's quite the opposite. Mostly comprised of many seeking instant sparks and infatuation, which is often confused with chemistry.

If they don't see chemistry within the first 15 minutes of the meetup, they quickly move on, never giving the other person the opportunity to demonstrate the values that they actually are seeking in a relationship. The time-tested lesson in this movie is that if someone passes as normal during a meetup date, Please give them some time or a few dates after that.

Give them a chance to demonstrate the qualities that may not be apparent at first, and let those surface as dates develop. 

The 12 Dates of Christmas

Paul Nelson: Our next movie is "The 12 Dates of Christmas," and this is from the ABC Family Channel back in 2011. Now, this is not to be confused, excuse me, with the, HBO series 12 Dates of Christmas.

This is the ABC Family version of the 12 Dates of Christmas. Again, the year 2011. Now, this stars Amy Smart as Kate and Paul Mark Gosselaar as Miles. The movie begins with Kate leaving the office Christmas party on Christmas Eve with her co worker while there's still time to purchase a Christmas present for her ex.

Now Kate is in heavy pursuit and overly confident that she can get her ex to see the light so that they can get back together for that happily ever after relationship. She has a one-track mindset for accomplishing this goal, and we find that Kate has a very busy Christmas Eve ahead of her, including a blind date meetup set up by her father's new wife.

Kate explains to her coworker that she's already made up her mind that the blind date is not going to work and that meeting him is just a formality that she needs to address before she can meet up with her ex and get back together with him. Christmas Eve for Kate turns into a disaster as she goes through the rest of the evening behaving in a highly selfish manner by being rude and behaving badly to her blind date in order to get through it as quickly as possible in the quest to meet up with her ex. Combined with additional selfish behavior at her family's Christmas Eve dinner.

Kate gets home, and the clock strikes midnight, at which point her day resets, and she wakes up back on the floor of the store where she fainted. The story now becomes a Christmas version of the movie Groundhog Day. Kate realizes the days are repeating and she tries various gambits to get back together with her ex at Miles's expense.

As the scenarios play out, she begins to understand why the relationship with her ex failed and eventually accepts responsibility for her behavior and causing its demise. She also sees how her selfish behavior affects her family and neighbors, as well as her Christmas Eve blind date with Miles.

The bottom line is that Kate is forced to relive the blind date each time. And as she does, she begins to warm up to Miles as she begins to learn more about what a great guy he is and what it was a mistake to write him off so quickly.

The Message the 12 Dates of Christmas Sends

Paul Nelson: Kate making up her mind before the date even started parallels with several online dating experiences where I received post-date feedback from my date where she admitted to deciding it was going to go nowhere before we even started to talk or within 10 minutes of the date.

Because there were no immediate sparks or butterflies. In a few cases, I had a couple of dates tell me that it didn't work because there was no immediate storybook romance that developed. Now, the movie is an excellent example of how attraction can build. If you go into a date without a preconceived notion or outcome, have an open mind and give it a few dates.

Lessons Learned

Paul Nelson: So what did we learn? Both the Holidate and the 12 dates of Christmas remind us that quality dating suitors are not always evident right off the bat. If a date passes as normal on a meetup, give them a few dates to show those potential qualities. and lastly, we shouldn't get into dates with preconceived notions if they're going to work out or not.

Conclusion

Paul Nelson: Here at the Midlife Dating Podcast, we're all about providing our listeners with as much value as possible. Please message me at questions@50datesat50.com if you've got any dating topics you'd like me to cover or have any questions or comments; the email address is in the show notes. Okay, guys and gals, it's been fun and I look forward to being with you on the next episode to take your dating experience from a bust to a best, and that's a really good place to be.